11 invaluable tips your son needs to know

Here’s useful advice that will turn your little rascal into a mature man who’s confident of navigating the adult world.

Parents of boys will agree that they just don’t have the same social graces as girls do. They’ll also take longer to learn the ropes. By the way, boys tend to turn to you for emotional support as it’s harder for them to form close intimate relationships with their peers, as compared to girls.

While you may feel like a broken recorder repeating the same advice time after time, thankfully, they do listen. So that they mature into self-assured men, drop these nuggets any time you have a decent convo with them:

1) Manage your anger

If not, it can easily escalate out of control, much like a car without brakes. Boys tend to possess greater physical strength and when paired with aggression, this fiery combination can cause misunderstandings or worse, lead to assault. It isn’t just the use of words but also the way the words are said. Theresa Bung, principal therapist at Family Life Society, advises that you say, “Harsh words can stir up [unnecessary] feelings and managing your tone can help turn away anger.”

2) Never end your sentences with these three words “…like a girl”

There’s nothing demeaning about being a girl, and some day, a girl will grow up and be your wife. Says Olivia Poon, a mother of a 2-year-old son, “Know that every girl you meet is your equal, and can do everything you can do, sometimes even better than you can.”

“Know that every girl you meet is your equal, and can do everything you can do, sometimes even better than you can.”

3) Always treat a woman right

Don’t take the women — be it girlfriend, wife, mother, mother-in-law — in your life for granted. Even simple manners like greeting them when you first meet and remembering to say “Thank you”, matters. And they’ll score brownie points if they take the initiative to render help whenever they can.

4) Pee goes into the toilet bowl…not around it

This is one all mothers with sons can sympathise with. Says mother of two young boys Lynnette Tan, “I went to the toilet one night and recall smelling the stench of dried urine, even though the door was shut!” Remind them: Aim well to ensure your pee goes into the bowl, not around it. If it does end up anywhere else, tell them to give a good wipe and remind them to WASH THEIR HANDS! Explain that you aren’t the designated toilet cleaner. If your message falls on deaf ears, getting them to wash the toilet for a week should drive the message home.

5) When we discipline, it’s not to shame but to correct

Reassure your kids that the punishment you mete out is to correct any disobedience as you’ve already given numerous warnings. Says Chong Ee Jay, manager and parenting coach at TOUCH Family Services, “Remind them that our objective is to correct their behaviour and remind them of what’s right, so that they can mature. We don’t do this to inflict shame or pain.” After you have disciplined your child, give him time to express his emotions. Once your kiddo’s calmer, talk to him, so that he can process what has happened. Remember, never discipline your child when you are angry or you won’t be able to control your own anger.

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