13 inspiring things your daughter needs to hear

So that your little girl grows into a strong and confident woman, pepper your conversations with inspiring phrases!


As a parent, a key responsibility is to teach your children important life lessons in life. To instil the right values and principles in them, saying the right key phrases will give junior self-confidence as they go through life. So, make your words count with your daughters with these insightful expressions:

1) “Try not to worry so much”

Sounds simple but everyone struggles with putting this into practice. Besides putting one in a lousy mood and creating unnecessary frown lines, worrying is pointless. Says Elvira Tan, a family life specialist from Focus on the Family , “Paranoia and worries seldom materialise, so encourage your daughter to not waste life worrying about things that might never happen.”

2) “Focus on what you can change”

In life, you should exercise control over what you can change rather than waste it worrying. Dr Hana Ra Adams, a psychologist at The Change Group Counselling, says that you should encourage your kid to figure out which aspects of her concern she can actually exercise control over and work on those, “and learn ways to let go of the things you cannot change”.

 3) “Rehearse the positive and reject negative thoughts”

Urge your tween to make a conscious decision every day to choose to do what’s good for herself or the world around her daily. Visualising being better at whatever she is struggling with can help her overcome that obstacle, too. Theresa Bung, principal therapist at the Family Life Society, says that it is important for your child to “make a mental note to do the positive and not to entertain the negative”.

Help [her] realise that she deserves to be treated with dignity and respect by the boys she is with.

4) “Being strong does not mean not crying”

Explain that she should never confuse tears with weakness. Tan says, “Let your daughter know that she can feel free to cry in front of you and never to feel the need to bottle up her feelings and suppress her emotions.” Dr Adams explains that crying is a good release of emotions although there are also other ways to manage stressors or obstacles, such as venting to friends or writing in a journal.

5) “You are not in competition with your friends”

There will be times when your daughter will feel jealous of her pals. It’s important that she has confidence in the skills they she is sharpening. Dr Adams says that jealousy arises when your child starts becoming competitive, nor is it in the least helpful to compare her strengths to others. She explains, “There will always be someone who is smarter or taller, but those characteristics don’t mean [your kid is] any less.”

 6) “You must expect to be treated with respect by the boys you are with”

Talk to your daughter about the quality of the relationships she maintains ― it’s vital that she does not feel demeaned by friends — especially partners. Tan notes, “Help [her] realise that she deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. [And] should not have to tolerate any behaviour she is uncomfortable with.”

 Find out how you can help her cope with her feelings of inadequacy…