10 ways to jazz up your baby-making sex

If your bedroom action feels like the same old, same old, we suggest ways to rekindle the flames of passion…

Wrung out and stressed from spending long hours in the office, sex is not likely to top your to-do list.

Eros Coaching sexologist Dr Martha Tara Lee says, “It’s hard to get into the mood or have any real desire [to have sex] when you’ve been working long hours or when you haven’t been sleeping well.”

While obvious libido-killers include stress, anxiety and depression, other underlying psychological issues could also hold you back from having sex — let alone enjoying it. Dr Lee highlights questions to help you figure out:

* What is going on in the relationship? Your ability to communicate with your partner in and out of the bedroom can have a huge impact on your sex life as a couple. So, take sort any issues or disagreements that are causing fights between the both of you ― soonest. Don’t shy from speaking to a therapist or counsellor if you can’t seem to work through your issues with each other.

* What is your “sexual attitude”? Being open with your partner about your likes and dislikes in the bedroom can enhance your sex life as a couple. Dr Lee advises that you consider asking for what you want in the bedroom. “Your beliefs about sex ― as to what is ‘normal’, ‘proper’, ‘expected’ and ‘age-appropriate’ can alter your sex life.”

“Your beliefs about sex ― as to what is ‘normal’, ‘proper’, ‘expected’ and ‘age-appropriate’ can alter your sex life.”

* Are you bored with sex? Sticking to a routine and doing the same thing all the time can make having sex feel like you’re completing a chore. Issues like not feeling the romance or attaining an orgasm in bed can suggest a lack of an authentic emotional connection and pleasure, which results in you not keen on doing the horizontal mambo.

* What other sources of stress do you need to deal with? A tyrannical boss, uncooperative colleagues and an abusive work environment could ruin any thoughts of making babies. So, take a day off and clear your mind ― it might do your sex life some good. Dr Lee shares, “You may wish to work with what you can immediately — [try] eating healthy foods, getting the required amount of exercise, and having sufficient rest.”

To address the issues that influence your decision to have sex, you need to communicate with each other and ask for help, if it’s needed. Dr Lee stresses, “You are the other 50 per cent in the relationship, and can make sex better by implementing some changes.” The good news is that you can use your creativity, imagination and organisational skills to sustain your sexual intimacy. Try these tactics…

1. Make yourself feel sexy Dr Lee says, “Get something that makes you feel sexy — lingerie, makeup, heels — the item need not be expensive, and so what if it is? You deserve a treat.”

2. Find ways to unwind Have a long bath, light candles or burn essential oils…

3. Use massage oils Giving each other a good massage is a great way to loosen up and release any pent-up tension. Being in a relaxed state can help the both of you connect more effectively with each other.