6 common sex problems and how to solve them

An expert has advice on how to overcome common sex problems couples may encounter during their relationship.

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If the horizontal mambo has been less than satisfactory in the past few months, it could be due many factors. Physical, mental and emotional issues can cause partners to withdraw from each other, which would affect their sex life in the process. Many couples will encounter sex problems at one point or another throughout their relationship, especially over time.


States Dr Martha Lee, a clinical sexologist at Eros Coaching, “Sex problems can strain the relationship. Such problems will then affect the sense of physical and emotional intimacy between couples.

“Beyond the dating and honeymoon period, there are the practicalities of life to grapple with. Many modern couples travel for work, juggle demanding jobs meant for two or three people, and work long hours. Many of my clients report being too exhausted for sex,” she adds.

However, sex problems can affect couples of all ages, not just older couples. In some cases, communication is all you need to get your sex life back on track again. However, if you feel that the problem is really impacting your relationship, do seek professional help before things escalate.

1. Lack of emotional intimacy

Emotional intimacy can refer to the way partners interact, or the amount of respect and trust they have for each other. When there is a lack of emotional intimacy with your spouse, you might not be as willing to have sex. This problem usually occurs due to a lack in communication between both parties. “Your need for intimate physical and emotional connection is ageless,” Dr Lee points out. So, it is vital that couples have a deep connection with each other.

Solution: Start spending more time together as a couple and learn about the other party’s likes and dislikes. “It is important to communicate your sexual needs and wants, and be open to talking about it,” stresses Dr Lee. You can try switching things up, too! For example, instead of having sex at night, why not do it in the morning after the both of you have had a good rest?

“It is important to communicate your sexual needs and wants, and be open to talking about it.”

2. Decreased sexual desire

Stress, fatigue, awkwardness and guilt ― these are just some things that can lead to a lower sex drive. In fast and busy Singapore, most people do not have enough time to rest as they spend more time at work than they do at home. Of course, you won’t be in the mood for any hanky-panky when you are that exhausted! Dr Lee states that physical factors such as poor arousal and lack of elasticity in the vaginal tissues can lead to painful sex as well, which will obviously be a turn-off.

Solution: “If this problem persists for more than six months, pay a visit to the doctor to get your hormones checked. If the problem is not caused by a hormonal imbalance, you can consider consulting a sex therapist or sexologist,” she says. Getting enough exercise and rest, having a healthy diet, as well as reducing your stress and anxiety levels might help as well.