How do you know you're ready for a baby?

Before you try conceiving, iron out vital details with your significant other ― like the sacrifices you’re willing to make…


Whether you’ve been married for years, or are keen to try for a baby though you’ve yet to wed, it’s important to be on the same page with your other half when it comes to expanding your family.

Indeed, having a baby is a lot more than just nine months of pregnancy. You’d have to think about newborn struggles, sleepless nights, childcare arrangements, financial considerations, your child’s education, and how it is going to affect your relationship.

You’re, after all, making an immense and irreversible commitment to care for another human being.

So, start communicating with your spouse. Here are eight things to absolutely thrash out before taking the first step to becoming parents.

1. Why you’re doing it

It’s a good idea to figure out the reasons why you want to become a mum or a dad. Perhaps you’ve come to a point in your marriage where you feel ready to raise a child. While there is no right answer to this, some reasons might raise a red light.

Fiona Choo, 33, who has been married for four years and is now eight months’ pregnant with her first child, says she felt pressure to try for a baby almost immediately after her wedding. Her reason: “Because all my friends and colleagues were having babies”.

It’s not uncommon for one person to feel more ready than the other.

However, her husband helped her realise that neither was settled in their careers at that point, so it just wasn’t the right time. “I’m glad we waited to achieve some stability in our finances and careers before going ahead,” she says.

Other dubious reasons for wanting a baby include hoping that a child would save a bad marriage, or wanting to please their parents who are longing for a grandchild.

2. What do you expect from parenting

Now’s the time to list the positive and possibly negative things that you can expect from becoming a parent.

Some couples are unaware of what parenting entails ― for instance, does your husband know that one of you would have to wake up several times a night to feed or change the newborn? Did you realise that you’ll need to make childcare arrangements ― register at infantcare, or hire a nanny ― for baby? Or is one parent willing to stay at home with the baby?

This is also the time to suss out how ready your spouse is. It’s not uncommon for one person to feel more ready than the other. In these cases, it’s important to find out what worries the more cautious spouse and address these concerns.