MUM SAYS Why I love having just one kid

Families may come in all shapes and sizes but this mum feels fulfilled even though she has just one child…


“A few weekends ago, our friends asked if we could babysit their 3-year-old son for a few hours while they ran some errands with their other child, who’s 19 months old.

My husband and I jumped at the chance, because not only is this little boy a joy to be around, he is also our son Andreas’ BFF ― they are just five months apart and thick as thieves. I was also secretly wondering what a Sunday afternoon would be like with two toddlers, since we’ve gotten used to life with just one.

We had good fun with the “fearsome twosome” as we ended up calling them after a day of mischief, mayhem and mirth. I also learnt a few things that day. Firstly, having two kids means getting everything times two. I had to cut two apples, order two servings of juice, and ask two kids every hour if they needed to go to the potty. My husband and I had also to run in two different directions when we were at the park, because each tot wanted to explore a separate area.

As I sat down to catch my breath after Andreas’ friend left, I wondered if I was ready to have another child. Wait, do I even want another child? I guess every parent who stopped at one ― temporarily or permanently ― would have this same thought cross their minds at some point or another.

“My husband and I started getting bombarded with statements like “time to have second one!” as early as our son’s first birthday party.”

I’ve come to realise that once you have your first kid, you are automatically signed up for this imaginary race to see how soon you can have another child ― then a third and maybe even a fourth. And if you’re a parent who has decided to sit out this race to have a mini-me part two, you don’t get off easily.

My husband and I started getting bombarded with statements like “time to have second one!” as early as our son’s first birthday party. I still remember a relative asking me when I was going to have my next child when she came to visit my newborn!

Then there’s the inevitable bump watch. The second I look chubbier than usual, an eager friend or relative will ask me point black if I am preggers. “Nope, just a food baby” I’d reply, patting my protruding belly and rolling my eyes on the inside.

My husband and I have always been on the same page about kids ― we would like to have two. However, we haven’t jumped on the baby train the second time round just yet for several reasons, but mostly because parenthood really kicked our butts the first time round and we haven’t gotten over the “trauma”!

Many parents would agree that baby’s first year will be very much a blur. The constant crying, chaos and sleepless nights can drive even the most well-adjusted individual insane. When this phase passes, things become more routine because your child sleeps through the night and you have time to regroup and feel “normal” again.

For my husband and I, having another baby at this point and going through all this again seems, well, insane. So, we’ve decided to press pause for the time being on procreating.

Among friends and family, we are among the few who hasn’t had a second child. We know we aren’t alone either as numbers show that Singapore’s fertility rate dropped to an all-time low of 1.2 kids per family in 2016.

Having one child may buck convention, but it does come with a whole host of benefits. Here are several things we get to enjoy as a family of three.