OPEN LETTER To my son on dating in the future

How you conduct yourself dictates whom you’ll date ― and eventually end up with ― so, act wisely, my son.

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Dearest Andreas,

Do you know what the best part of my day is? It’s when I’m putting you to bed in the evenings. Part of it is because I know that once you’re in bed, I will spend the rest of the night dancing around naked, drinking wine and binge-watching Netflix while cuddling up to papa.

On a serious note though, it’s also because I love your ritual of smothering me with wet, sloppy kisses, hugging me tightly and telling me repeatedly how much you love me, even as I close the door behind me.

Your papa is a very affectionate man, but nothing makes me feel as loved as the way you show your love for me, my dear boy. I know, at 2½ years, that I am the queen of your heart and will enjoy it for as long as you’ll let me. But there will soon come a time, probably in a blink of an eye, when you will focus your attention on girls your own age and find your soulmate eventually. 

Even as I'll reluctantly relinquish my role as the most important woman in your life, I look forward to meeting these lovely ladies you will bring home for family dinners and gatherings.

Dating is fun, but it’s also tricky and one of the most important things you will ever do. After all, whom you date says a lot about who you are. More importantly, how you date will decide who will eventually become your wife, should you choose to get married. The woman you handpick to be your wife will determine your future success as a husband, father, friend and son. Hey, no pressure!

Since I only want the best for you (and have kissed my fair share of frogs when I was dating) here’s my two cents on how to navigate the world of dating like a pro…and make sure you don’t let the love of your life slip through your fingers…

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Dress up

A man in dark jeans and a T-shirt is cute. The same guy in a crisp shirt and trousers and trendy oxfords is well, George Clooney. Bring a blazer for good measure (I’ll explain later), make sure you shower before and spritz (don’t bathe) yourself with perfume. Never underestimate the power of being well put-together, it’s a sign that you’re taking yourself, the date ― and most importantly ― her, seriously.

If they give you both a curfew, make sure you stick to it. Should this relationship take off, you are laying the groundwork for a successful relationship with her family. 

Have a plan

No “let’s hang out at my place, order in and watch a movie” nonsense, please. When you ask a girl out on a date, make sure you have a plan in place. There’s no need to go over the top, but making reservations at a trendy café and booking tickets for a movie shows her that you’re a reliable person. It gives her a sense of security. By the way, think of a fun way to end the date, maybe going to a gaming arcade and winning a soft toy for her or taking her on a reverse bungee ride. Not only would you have made it memorable, but a person you can have fun with now is also a person you can have fun with in 40 years.

Be courteous and respectful to her parents

If you’re picking her up at her place, don’t lurk under her block or wait at the end of the street to her house like a creep. Walk up to her front door, knock or ring the bell, and if her parents answer, shake their hands and introduce yourself. Be pleasant and composed (however much you might be freaking out on the inside) and answer any questions they might have about you and the date. As parents to a daughter, they also want reassurance that their little girl is in good hands. If they give you both a curfew, make sure you stick to it. Should this relationship take off, you are laying the groundwork for a successful relationship with her family.  

Four more golden rules to dating, coming right up!