10 things wives want to hear

Reboot your relationship with these simple, yet powerful love phrases.

10 things wives want to hear

So, you married the woman of your dreams. You pledged before witnesses on your special day to be there for her “through thick and thin, in sickness and in health, till death do you part”.

Six years and two kids later, you congratulate yourself that you’ve been pretty good at keeping your end of the bargain. So, why is it that nothing you say or do seems to make the missus happy anymore? You even tell her that you love her every day ― what more does she want? A pink diamond bracelet? A Prada bag? Maybe for you to climb Bukit Timah hill and declare in ringing tones that you adore her?

Newsflash, fellas! While a new pair of cute shoes will no doubt make your honey very happy, what she’s actually looking for is so much smaller in scale and best of all, free!

What is it? Words of affirmation ― backed by action! Yes, it’s that simple. Why? Because it makes her feel cherished, appreciated and cared for, which will not only make her happy but give her a sense of security about your relationship. And as we all know, happy wife = happy life!

“It’s becoming increasingly clear how important it is for couples to have well-stocked ‘love banks’, which can be nurtured and maintained through words of encouragement, praise and kind gestures,” notes marriage and family therapist Anoushka Beh. “This forms a strong firmament, which helps them weather the challenges that can arise in the form of small daily grievances to larger tensions over the course of time.”

Looking to fill your lady’s “love bank”? Then keep telling her how much you love her every day, but also add these 10 key phrases to your marriage vocabulary. It’ll help to put that spark back into your romance in no time!

1. “Call me anytime, even on my office phone.”

A husband that’s accessible all day, every day? Yes, please! Wives love to know that however busy you might be ― running a business or fighting crime a la Batman ― you’ll drop whatever you’re doing to pick up her call, even if all your love wants to say is that she’s missing you or a request to pick up milk on the way home. It makes her feel like she’s your number one priority ― and isn’t she? 

“It’s becoming increasingly clear how important it is for couples to have well-stocked ‘love banks’, which can be nurtured and maintained through words of encouragement, praise and kind gestures.”

2.  “What can I do to make your days less hectic?”

So you’ve seen your wife struggling to stay on top of her daily routine ― getting herself ready, while packing the kids’ lunches or rushing home from work to cook dinner. Now’s the time to lighten her burden. Just asking her how is often good enough, even if there’s no way you can help. She will know that you want to make her life easier because you aren’t blind to her struggles and she’ll love you for it.

Of course, if you’re lucky, you’ll be married to someone who’s like Marie Han’s hubby. “My husband does all the housework, from washing the clothes to cooking dinner because he says I work longer hours, so he wants to make life stressful for me. I am thankful that we treat each other as equals in this relationship and don’t subscribe to any archaic gender roles.”  

3. “I’ve been thinking about what you said and maybe I can try to change.”

Stop right there. You actually took time to ponder over what the wifey said last night instead of binge-watching Narcos? You’re a keeper! It’s not that we’re blaming you for everything (not all the time at least), but your wife needs to know that when the going gets tough, you’re flexible about changing. Taking what she says into consideration and acting on it also proves how much you respect her viewpoint.

4. “Sleep in, I’ll take care of the kids this morning.”

“This works like a charm every time,” says mum-of-two-boys Jessica Gullichsen, 37, who’s been married to Cato Gullichsen for 7 years. The fact that you’re willing to take on a bunch of rambunctious toddlers solo, especially on a weekend morning, will make any wife cry happy tears as she returns to dreaming about Chris Hemsworth. Want to score even more brownie points? Offer her a steaming cup of freshly made coffee when she wakes in a couple of hours.

Six more ways to woo your woman with expressions of love, coming right up!