If the movie Bad Moms has taught us anything, it’s that no parent has a handle on child-rearing. However, this hasn’t stopped anyone from comparing ourselves to other parents (admit it, you do!) and wondering just how well we are doing. If you have a burning desire to know if you are acing your parental duties, this quiz is for you. Time to get brutally honest…

The test

1) Do your kids like you?

A. Yes! All the time. What’s not to love? I’m the best!

B. I think so.

C. They probably like my spouse better.

D. My son said he likes to watch me leave…does that count?

 

2) Where are your kids right now?

A. Right next to me. I would put a GPS up their butts if it was legal, so I can keep tabs on them 24/7.

B. Think I saw one going into his room 10 minutes ago.

C. Ask my spouse.

D. Did I forget to pick them up from school again?!

 

3) What do your kids eat most of the time?

A. ONLY homemade dishes prepared using organic ingredients. Even the water is purified.

B. I usually try to prepare “healthy-ish” dishes. They get to choose sometimes.

C. My spouse is in charge of meals.

D. As long as McDonald’s delivers, I am not worried.

 

You love your kids, we get it, but all this smothering isn’t going to do you or junior any favours.

4) The kids are physically fighting. What do you do?

A. Break it up immediately, lecture them and make them write a 1,000 word essay each on the importance of being good siblings.

B. Poke them with something to get them to stop. Nag a bit about why they should try to get along, while looking for my emergency stash of chocolates.

C. Where’s my spouse? He/she usually knows what to do.

D. Join in! Doesn’t this count as physical play?

 

5) Junior just said a swear word. What do you do?

A. Express complete horror and disappointment. Maybe it’s a sign of an underlying behavioural issue. I better do more research on it and find him a good therapist.

B. Laugh on the inside, but give him a lesson on bad words.

C. Where’s my spouse when you need him/her?

D. Laugh…it’s funny, lah!

 

6) What do you usually do during the weekends?

A. I plan weekend activities a month in advance. We do a variety of stuff to ensure the kids get a well-rounded experience ― museums, the orchestra, the zoo etc.

B. Simple activities like a run at the park or swimming. Whatever the kiddos are up for.

C. My spouse usually plans our weekend.

D. We didn’t leave the house last weekend.

 

 

7) Do you worry about your child’s future?

A. Since the day they were born. But luckily I’ve already drawn up a 15-year plan for them. I do change it sometimes, so it’s in line with my current expectations for them. All they need to do is follow it.

B. Sometimes, but they are good kids. I’m sure they will be fine.

C. My spouse brings up that topic once in a while. I’m usually successful at changing the subject.

D. I worry my child may never move out from my house in the future.

 

8) What do your kids watch on TV?

A. We don’t own a TV. Why bother when there are so many good books to devour?

B. The kids have their favourite shows and it’s usually okay with us.

C. Ask my spouse.

D. Beats me ― when the TV is on, I’m out!

 

9) How important are your child’s school grades?

A. Extremely. It’s going to determine their future.

B. Somewhat important, but I’m not going to pressure them. There’s more to life than good grades.

C. If it’s important to my spouse, it’s important to me.

D. They can always run away and join the circus.

 

It’s not enough to be physically present, it’s more important to be mentally and emotionally present for your peewees.

10) How do you and your spouse decide who gets to follow junior to his friend’s birthday party?

A. We draw up a schedule and usually take turns. Kids need to spend an equal amount of time with both parents to forge a strong bond.

B. Whoever is free.

C. My spouse does it.

D. Whoever loses at Scissors, Paper, Stone.

The results

If you answered mostly A… You’re a Tiger Mum/Dad Is it just us or did it get hot in here real quick? Yikes honey, you got to bring down the helicopter parenting down a notch! You love your kids, we get it, but all this smothering isn’t going to do you or junior any favours. Kids very rarely respond to such parenting techniques. Plus, contrary to popular belief, the Best Parent of the Year award ceremony doesn’t exist, so stop fantasising about what you’re going to wear when you collect your prize. Ever thought that you might be doing this more to feel good about yourself than what’s best for your child? They are young only once, so just enjoy them for now. Remember… less Tiger Parenting is best!

If you answered mostly B… You’re a Balanced Parent You seem to have a relatively decent grasp on parenting. You also come across as a warm and nurturing parent, which is important if you want to keep the lines of communication open between you and your young ’un. You also know how not to sweat the small stuff, which means you’re less susceptible to being overwhelmed by parental anxiety. However, it’s a good idea to know where your kids are at all times!

If you answered mostly C… You’re a Hands-off Parent Dude, you got to stop depending on your spouse so much. Parenting is a team effort, so you need to put it some…errr…effort! Imagine how overwhelmed your spouse must be trying to hold down the fort every day. Plus, the kids are growing up without you in their lives. It’s not enough to be physically present, it’s more important to be mentally and emotionally present for your peewees. They will grow up so fast and fly the coop, and you’re going to get all emo, but it’ll be too late then.

If you answered mostly D… You need a Major Parenting Lesson, stat! We try not to judge parents at SmartParents, but…you’re hopeless! Wake up, your kids need a parent to steer them through life successfully. It’s amazing that the little ones have managed to survive this long under your stewardship. Parenting doesn’t end after baby arrives safely into the world, it’s a lifetime commitment and you’ve got to see your obligations through. While you’re at it, try to enjoy the journey as well. It is one of the most amazing experiences you’ll ever have!

Photos: iStock

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