What is your love language?

You can show your love in various ways ― by expressing it, performing acts of service and so on…

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Children don’t really understand the real meaning of love as their concept is usually derived from they read in storybooks and what they see on television. So, it isn’t surprising that their views of love are idealised expectations about love.  Kids may imagine that being in a relationship is just like what fairy tales depict, where there is always happy-ever-after.

Dr Gary Chapman, who wrote The Five Love Languages, says that knowing your child’s love language can make all the difference in your relationship. The five love languages, he explains, are gift giving, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service and physical touch.

According to the love languages concept, all individuals have a primary love language within these five. If we knowing what our loved ones’ primary love language are, we can communicate and express our love for them in a more meaningful way.

Eugene Chong, a counselling psychologist, notes that the relationship between parent and child originates from love, so that relating to one another should revolve around how you show love.

Clinical psychologist Agnes Teo stresses that parents should not ignore their offspring’s other four languages, even if they know what their child’s primary love language is. They can pay particular attention to their child’s primary love language, while using all five forms regularly to show their love for their children.

As parents, understanding our child’s primary love language means that we can effectively show our love in a way that is more meaningful to them.

Parents naturally express their love for their children in day-to-day activities. These are communicated through various ways such as picking them up from school, praising them for doing well on a test, or reading a bedtime story together.

However, each child responds to these acts of love differently. For example, one child may prefer spending time at the beach rather than receiving a present. Similarly, another child might prefer a more physical form of expression of love, such as receiving hugs, as compared to praises.

As parents, understanding our child’s primary love language means that we can effectively show our love in a way that is more meaningful to them. Teo says that letting children know that they are loved is essential to a strong parent-child bond, besides contributing to their sense of security and self-esteem.