Treasure your pre-baby friends

Don’t lose touch with your best friends when baby arrives, preserve those precious friendships. Here’s why (and how)!


When you have a baby, your friendships — along with your body shape, relationship with your spouse, and just about everything else in your life — can change dramatically. Whether you have less time for your old friends or they have less time for you and your little one, becoming a parent can test even the strongest of friendships.

Notes psychologist Irene Levine, “It’s natural for a new mum to fall so in love with her baby that there is little emotional energy left for anyone else, including her friends. The logistics of taking care of a newborn can be disruptive. And you may feel so overwhelmed by your new responsibilities that your life is no longer your own. It’s common for friendships to take a back seat.” 

When you find time for a chat, you may prefer to speak to new mums you’ve met at prenatal classes who are struggling through the same re-adjustment. But once you emerge from your new baby bubble, you’ll realise how essential your old friendships are for your emotional well-being. You may even regret having let a friendship fall by the wayside.  

"Investing time with old friends makes women better, happier mothers."

“Being with old friends allows a new mum to rejoin the world of adults,” Levine says. “Investing time with old friends makes women better, happier mothers.”

#1. Have baby-free dates

“Friends will want to visit your baby for the first time, but once the visitors tail off, it’s important to schedule in time to see them without your baby,” Levine notes. Put dates in the diary and stick to them, so friends don’t get lost among diapers and feeds.

#2. Old chums can be a source of advice

“In prior generations, family and friends helped new mums master the art of mothering,” says Levine. “If you’re having trouble breastfeeding or getting your baby to sleep through the night, ring a friend who has older kids for advice.”