By now, you’ve probably cottoned on that pregnancy isn’t a bed of roses for the missus and a pretty sensitive time for her. And if you’re a first-time dad, you may have gotten a few glares from your wife after making certain statements.
You don’t know how your wife feels because you aren’t the one who is pregnant ― the things you utter may sometimes sound insensitive and hurtful to her. So that you don’t land in hot water with your significant other over unwitting verbal slip-ups, take a look at what you should never say to your pregnant wife!
1. “We’re pregnant”
Guys, you know this phrase just isn’t accurate ― your wife is the one who’s pregnant ― so, you’re definitely aren’t carrying a baby! Melissa Chen, a mother of three boys, says that this is one of the phrases she disliked hearing from her husband. She explains, “Cos seriously, only the woman is!”
2. “I’ve heard that some pregnant women don’t experience morning sickness at all!”
Not helpful! This is probably an obvious one ― if your wife is plagued by nasty bouts of morning sickness, hearing that some women escape the queasies isn’t going to magick away her morning sickness. In fact, it might even make her feel worse. What she’ll really appreciate is you getting her some nosh that’ll ease her nausea.
It isn’t easy to enjoy quality rest, what with a growing bump, and a baby whose karate kicks in the third tri could rival Bruce Lee’s!... Why not make yourself useful like getting her some pregnancy sleep aids?
3. “I understand how you’re feeling”
Honestly, you should know better than to trot this one out ― you really don’t and can’t know how your wife’s feeling. You’ve never (and will never) experience pregnancy, so you wouldn’t know how tiring or painful it can get. Instead of telling your wife you know how she’s feeling, cook her a nice meal or give her a massage!
4. “Is it the hormones again?”
Ann de Souza recalls resenting her husband when he made this remark. Yes, during pregnancy, women will be more hormonal. However, it’s pretty tactless to just blame your wife’s concerns or behaviour on pregnancy hormones! You’d win brownie points just hearing out her fears or trying to cheer her up.
5. “Why do you cry so much?”
It’s normal for pregnant women to get more emotional, nor can they control it. So, even if she cries at the littlest things, just understand why, bring her a box of tissues and offer a cuddle.
6. “I’m so tired”
When you and your wife are about to have a child, both of you are probably going to be pretty tired. However, complaining to your wife that you’re tired when she’s the one heaving a big bump around, as well as experiencing all the pregnancy symptoms and hormonal changes is rather obtuse. Mum of three S F Tan gripes that this was one of the remarks that annoyed her when she was expecting.
7. “You look really tired”
Ya think? It isn’t easy to enjoy quality rest, what with a growing bump, and a baby whose karate kicks in the third tri could rival Bruce Lee’s! Instead of highlighting how washed out she looks, why not make yourself useful like getting her some pregnancy sleep aids?
8. “Can I have more space on the bed?”
Did we mention that it isn’t easy for pregnant women to find a comfortable position or get a good night’s rest? If your wife’s taking up more bed space than usual because she needs to fall asleep in a certain position, ever thought of to being considerate and sleeping in the living room instead?
9. “You can handle the doctors’ appointment yourself, right?”
Your wife needs to visit the doctor regularly for prenatal check-ups, so, the least you could do is to be there offering moral support! Don’t ask your wife if she’s able to go on her own ― of course she can. But she wants you there with her ― you wouldn’t want to miss sharing amazing moments with her, like listening to your baby’s heartbeat for the first time.
10. “Sure you can finish this?”
Depending on how far into the pregnancy she is, you should expect your blooming wife to eat more than usual! She is growing a human, so, don’t bother asking this pointless question.
11. “Wow! You’ve already gotten so big!”
As much as they don’t want to stress over it, some expectant mums may fret about their pregnancy weight gain, and losing weight post-pregnancy. So, no matter how good-natured your comment, it may make her feel worse and aggravate her pregnancy stress.
Your wife is already walking as fast as she can. Did you forget that she’s hauling around the equivalent of a watermelon inside her, so you should expect her speed to lessen somewhat. Here’s an idea ― why not match your pace with hers instead?
13. “When should we have our next child?”
Your wife has way too much on her plate right now to even think of yet another baby. Like you, she’s probably fretting about her new responsibilities and of taking care of the newborn, on top of worrying about losing the pregnancy weight, so as to reclaim her svelte pre-baby shape. So, raising the issue of another child even before this baby arrives is way too soon.
14. “Yeah, I’m fine with anything you choose for the nursery.”
Your wife is trying to prepare for junior’s arrival, and it’ll be great if you put in some effort as well, even if choosing furniture or paint colours isn’t “your thing”. You may not have an eye for colour and so not interested in interior decorating, but just check out websites with her and give her your opinions on her mood boards.
15. “You’re using the toilet again?”
It’s troublesome, but it’s unavoidable. Your poor wife will probably need to make many more trips to the toilet because she’s understandably going to pee frequently because because the growing baby/uterus is exerting pressure on her bladder.
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