School is officially in full swing, how is your child doing?
#1: “My child has separation anxiety!”
If your child is:
- Crying in school.
- Refusing to go to school and making excuses to stay at home.
- Refusing to sleep knowing that they will have to wake up the next day to go to school.
- Complaining of physical sickness like headache or stomachache.
- Clinging to their main caregiver (parents or other).
How you can help:
- Don’t leave without saying good-bye to your child as it could break their trust in you.
- When it’s time to go, make sure you leave promptly. Dragging out a long farewell might reinforce to your child that the school isn’t a good place.
- Associate the good-bye with good memories by waving at your child and making funny faces or smiling broadly.
#2: “My child has attention problems!”
If your child is:
- Not able to attend to tasks (e.g. makes careless mistakes, is unable to sustain focus)
- Suffering from motor overactivity (e.g. fidgets, has difficulty playing quietly)
- Impulsive (e.g. blurts out answers and interrupts others constantly).
How you can help:
- Follow a routine at home (there should also be a routine at school).
- Keep rules clear and simple, give reminders calmly.
- Give your child only one or two instructions at a time.
- Praise your child when they do something appropriate.
- Supervise your child closely – their hyperactivity means that they can easily put themselves in dangerous situations.
- Ignore minor irritating behaviours.
- Be clear about discipline for behaviour you find unacceptable. For younger children, try implementing times out. For older children, impose logical consequences
#3: “My child is overly shy and quiet.”
If your child is:
- Withdrawn and quiet.
- Apparently having trouble making friends.
- Stressed or anxious.
- Unwilling to attempt new things.
- Finding difficulty in studying and concentrating in school.
How you can help:
Daniel Koh, a psychologist at Insights Mind Centre says, “It is normal for children to take 2-3 weeks to get use to a new transition. During these times, the above symptoms are normal and acceptable. However, if this is coupled with intense distress and fear then it may be a sign of more indepth issues.”
- Be patient, reassuring and comforting
- Talk to your child to understand his problems
- Help the child to resolve it through learning new skills
- Model positive behaviour for your child and practice behaviours one-on-one with your child, and suggest that they try to make friends one by one, before trying yo join a bigger group.
#4: “My child is overly demanding and bossy.”
If your child is:
- Telling their friends what to do all the time.
- Unable to take instructions or handle disappointments
- Reacting to disappointment by bursting into tears or yelling “I hate you!”
- Starting to throw tantrums <Link to SP article on tantrums>
- Refusing to listen to others or co-operate with others
How you can help:
Koh suggests the following tips,
- Teach your child the kind of good behaviour that you want, through learning and discussion. Reinforce good behaviour with praises.
- Ignore negative behaviour and only respond when positive behaviour is used.
- Be consistent in reinforcing good behaviour for change to happen.
#5: “My child is adjusting well in school.”
If your child is:
- Following a routine easily.
- Making and keeping friends.
- Demonstrating their ability to take instructions from teachers.
- Communicating with ease.
- Gets along with others.
- Eating on their own.
- Taking part in class and activities.
- Happy and excited to go to school and equally happy to talk to you about what he does in school.
Then relax a little and be happy!
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