If you’re wondering when you’ll be ready physically and mentally to have intercourse after baby arrives, we have answers.
You’re sore from those delivery stitches and wounds, tired from 24/7 babycare duties, which makes you wonder when you’ll actually be ready for sex again.
Indeed, some women report feeling pain even six months post-delivery. Explaining that wounds from either C-section or vaginal delivery may be to blame, SmartParents expert ob-gyn Dr Christopher Chong adds that a woman’s readiness to have intercourse may depend on how well her wounds heal and whether there are complications in healing such as infection, bad scar formation, haematoma (collection of blood)”.
Another possible reason is that breastfeeding lowers the level of female hormones, which causes vaginal dryness, which makes sex uncomfortable and painful.
When can my spouse and I engage in sexual intercourse again?
Normally, couples are advised to wait four to six weeks after the arrival of their little one. Dr Chong explains that wounds for both C-sections and vaginal births “need at least four to six weeks to fully heal”.
Wounds for both C-sections and vaginal births “need at least four to six weeks to fully heal”.
How do I know if I’m ready?
Dr Chong says that signs you are ready include being fully ambulant (mobile), have no pain in the womb or wound area, able to stretch vagina well. However, he cautions that being mentally ready shouldn’t be overlooked either.
Will I experience pain?
Dr Chong reckons that most women would not feel any pain during sex about a month after giving birth and most would have healed “down there” by the fifth week. So, you should be concerned if you still are experiencing pain after six to eight weeks.

How is the pain treated?
Dr Chong suggests treating the root cause of the pain if it is detectable. Other ways is to use “enough lubrication and indulge in longer foreplay”. He advises that you get your gynae to check you out if you need to use painkillers. He stresses that it’s important to be “gentle” the first couple of times you re-engage in sexual intercourse with your spouse.
Why does my libido seem lower?
Hormonal changes could be the culprit for that lower libido post-birth. Other reasons could be bleeding and lochia (discharge), while you may also be feeling tired and stressed, Dr Chong notes. After all, it’s draining for new parents to have to attend to a newborn and adjust to being new parents.
Breastfeeding can also play a part ― it lowers female sexual hormones and leads to tiredness.
He also points out that you could fear experiencing pain during intercourse, and even be concerned that you might get pregnant again following a rough pregnancy. Breastfeeding can also play a part ― not only is it tiring, it also lowers the female sexual hormones. This causes vaginal dryness, making intercourse painful and uncomfortable, which discourages you from wanting to have sex.
If you’re afraid of any pain, Dr Chong notes that getting over your fear depends on whether you have a physical issue or a psychological one. However, he adds that the first step is to get the green light from your gynae.
Photos: iStock
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