Longing for a baby with your husband? Is your sex life a bit ho-hum? Check out our sex alphabet…


Bring out your necklaces — long, short, and mid-length — and wear nothing but these. Kiss your man from head to toe, while your chains graze his skin — the most sensitive organ! Bonus points if you use the chains to tie him up.


Eroticising an everyday object is key to bondage. So, when your man comes home after work, blindfold him with his tie, walk him to the bedroom and have your way with him. Adds Dr Martha Tara Lee, clinical sexologist from Eros Coaching, “Tell him not to move or you’d stop touching.” Naughty!


“What might feel pleasurable one day can be painful the next, and communicating can help you have not just good, but great sex,” Dr Lee notes. Let him know what does and doesn’t work (compliment him before you mention the don’ts).


Tell him exactly what to do and how to do it. For instance, tell him to unhook your bra with only his mouth. Then, order him to kiss your feet, your shin, move up to your thigh, then your…


This lowers your “sexual age” as compared to your actual age. According to a study by the Harvard School of Public Health, men who participate in 20 to 30 minutes of vigorous activity are 50 per cent less likely to have erection problems. Explains Dr Lee, “Our sexual function is affected by our general health.”


It delivers pleasure subtly and is vital to better orgasms. According to a study published in The Journal of Sex Research in 2012, it was found that “diverse sexual stimulation” enabled people aged 16 to 64 to last longer in bed, especially oral- and self-stimulation.




Turn up the heat, Hollywood-style, and book a hotel room for the night. Greet him in your skimpiest outfit, setting the scene with candles and stimulating smells. Head for an overseas getaway to freshen the experience!


A study by Dutch researcher Gert Holstege of the University of Groningen in the Netherlands revealed that 80 per cent of women orgasm after wearing socks, compared to only 50 per cent who achieved satisfaction without socks. Reason: Their feet were cold. Heat not only produces feelings of warmth and comfort, it also calms the woman’s brain area that’s responsible for anxiety, fear and danger signals.


This one’s for your man. Place an ice cube in your mouth and perform oral sex as it melts. “The cold temperature combined with the warmth of your lips will result
in delightful moans,” Dr Lee promises.


This term for female masturbation suggests that you should be open
to exploring your own body, so as to understand what you like and want from sex. Communicate this information to your hubby, so he doesn’t struggle to find your
pleasure points.


Don’t dismiss the power of a kiss — after all, that’s how everything starts! Surprise him by sneaking in some tongue action before you leave for work. Or kiss him while watching TV together, then slip in your tongue…he’ll get the hint.


Sometimes, raw animalistic sex with your husband can relieve sexual frustration and works when neither of you are in the mood for a long-drawn session. Dr Lee advises, “Loosen your judgement of the ‘right’ way to have sex and just have fun.”


Nothing boosts a man’s ego like knowing he’s doing it right in bed, so even if you’re embarrassed to actually talk to him, some whimpering and vocalising your enjoyment tells him that his moves are turning you on.




Sex is — and should be — about exploring: Your bodies, desires and preferences. Let go of your reservations and start off with something small, like a massage, before moving on to bolder things, like sex toys.


Maintain eye contact when you do the horizontal, especially during oral sex. Not only will this help you stay in the moment, it’ll allow you to read each other’s expressions.


Skimpy or lacy ones! Dr Lee suggests that you keep them on until he can “push them to the side”. Remember, maintaining an element of mystery is extremely attractive.


It makes sex feel less of a chore and more of an adrenaline-charged activity. “Shhh, come here…” Bam! Back to your TV show...


Ask your significant other to elaborate on his fantasies and also share yours. Slip into the role when you’re ready — this will be a bonding experience that leaves you both feeling closer than ever and more comfortable with one another.


Give names to your favourite sex moves/positions. Start with “the”, add an adjective associated with an emotion, like “glorious”, then finally finish with the name of an animal, such as “gazelle”. Announce, “It’s time for ‘The Glorious Gazelle’!”




Send him suggestive or openly raunchy messages during the day. Recount the time in the cinema when he… Or get cheeky when you’re both at a friend’s party and text him what you’d like to do to him when you’re back home. Be explicit!


Book a dinner at his favourite restaurant on a weekday, randomly pay him a sexual compliment, or initiate “sexy time” suddenly.


It heightens any sexual experience, whether it’s solo or couple action. Dr Lee assures, “Vibrators aren’t an emotional and physical replacement of intimacy with your partner.” Start with the “bullet”, which is available at most sex stores, or online.


A Brazilian wax — trimming your “bush” — goes a long way in the bedroom. Imagine the possibilities when your nether region is squeaky clean, smells fresh and feels silky smooth…


Watch an X-rated movie together and pretend to be the characters in the show. Dr Lee notes, “Don’t take yourself too seriously, and unleash your inner performer.”


The link between yoga and sexual stamina is well known. An Indian study published in Business Insider said that men hoping to prolong their orgasms saw improvements after doing a daily hour of yoga. This also helped them last thrice as long in bed!


Sleep affects your hormones, so a lack of it will reduce your libido — more so in women than men. According to the Journal of the American Medical Association, a lack of sleep lowers a man’s testosterone levels by as much as 15 per cent, which in turn affects his libido and ability to reproduce. This is because a sleep deficit means that your body isn’t given enough time to release the necessary hormones.

Photo: iStock


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