So yeah, mothers sometimes stretch the truth a little to make ourselves ― or others ― feel better…

When you’ve been in a sleep-deprived fog for months, maybe even years, you tend to, ahem, manipulate the truth a little. The truth is, telling white lies often allows you to sidestep confrontations, avoid facing the “dirty” truth, and you’ll seem to conform to societal norms. And if all this makes life that much easier ― we aren’t about to judge!

So, which of these whoppers have you uttered lately?

1. What she says… “I feed my baby organic produce.”
What she means“I feed my baby organic produce when I can find it, and when it’s on discount. Oh, by the way, 80 per cent of his organic diet comes from a jar.”

Have you seen the prices of organic vegetables? A head of air-flown organic broccoli can easily cost $14 ― seven times that of regular ones! Price aside, organic veggies are harder to come by, and who has the time to make the rounds of organic stores?

2. What she says… “Of course she loves that pretty tu-tu you gave her for Christmas!”
What she means… “Oh, you mean that skirt with the scratchy organza material? Uh-uh ― she’d rather wear her Frozen leggings!”

Every birthday and Christmas, your sweetie will get enough clothes to see her through the next few years. Since it’s simply impossible to keep track of what’s from whom, the best you can do is to give a broad smile and proclaim how much she loves the top/bottom/dress and so on.

All mums need a breather from their little ones from time to time, and hey, there’s no shame in that.

3. What she says… “Could you watch the kids? I need to go to the grocery store urgently, we’re out of ingredients for tomorrow’s lunch.”
What she means… “Good, you’re finally home! I’ll pop by the grocery store, pick up a few things, then hit Starbucks for the latte I’ve been hankering after all day.”

All mums need a breather from their little ones from time to time, and hey, there’s no shame in that.

4. What she says… “I can’t remember what my life was like before I had my baby.”
What she means… “You ever heard of mummy brain? Yep, it’s real. And what the heck did I do with all that free time B.C. (before-child)?”

Your life has made a 180-degree turn since baby arrived. The main reason you can’t remember what life was like before bubba came is because you simply don’t have the mental capacity to…anymore.

5. What she says… “Breastfeeding is the most amazing and natural thing in the world.”
What she means… “I breastfeed my kids because it’s the best thing for them. But I also had a baby no one else could soothe, so I’ve had to endure cracked nipples and engorged boobs for months!”

Though mums want to, they are also often pressured by well-meaning friends and relatives, to breastfeed their babies to give them the best start in life. But make no mistake, breastfeeding is hard work.



6. What she says… Oh, I have no idea why he’s behaving this way ― he never does this.”
What she means… “Urgh ― I was praying he wouldn’t act up in public, so I could keep up my act of being the best mum ever! Jeez.”

You might have sneered at other rascals misbehaving at the mall, so it’s hard to accept that your own offspring can be unruly, too. But, tots will be tots ― so, yes there will be tantrums, especially when you least expect it.

7. What she says… “I fell in love with him the minute the doctor placed him in my arms.”
What she means… “You mean this squirming, squealing creature has been living inside of me these past nine months? Let me take a look… before I pass out!”

As much as we’d like to say that we bonded with our babies the minute they arrived, the truth is, it’s hard. Most new parents don’t bond with their babies immediately as they might have felt overwhelmed by the entire delivery process. It takes time to connect, but once you are caring, feeding and cuddling your mini-me, you’ll feel the connection.

Most new parents don’t bond with their babies immediately as they might have felt overwhelmed by the entire delivery process.

8. What she says… “I hope you don’t mind that the house is in a mess! I had no time at all to clear up today!”
What she means… “The hubs took the kids to the playground, so I had a couple of hours to speed vacuum, wipe the surfaces, put away the toys, hide the pile of laundry, fix some hors d’oeuvres, and pretend that I’m holding it all together.”

Oh yes, we do all what we can to keep up appearances. As long as we hear the magic phrase, “It doesn’t look all that bad…”, it’s all good.

9. What she says… “Our baby has brought us closer together.”
What she means… “Yes, he’s the best thing that’s happened to us, but we haven’t had a date night in two years. By the way, the husband now sleeps in the guest room as there just isn’t enough space for the three of us in our bed, since the baby demands to sleep with me.

Everything has changed since junior has arrived, and things between you and your husband will never be the same again. But while date nights and romantic getaways are a distant memory, you now have a deeper respect for one another.

10. What she says… “I’ve never been happier in my life!”
What she means… “I’ve never been happier in my life, but I’ve also never been more anxious, more upset, more exhausted or more frustrated...ever!”

Remember the day your young ’un climbed over the school fence and fell head first on the other side? Or the time his fever spiked at 2am and you couldn’t sleep a wink? Indeed, motherhood comes with many trials and tribulations. And no matter what falsehoods you may tell about your topsy-turvy life, you know that you wouldn’t have it otherwise!

Photos: iStock

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